um we didn’t want to be rude but you do bring a strong restless spirit vibe to all the functions. we don’t think you’re haunted we actually think you might be the ghost. but we didn’t want you to be sad so we weren’t gonna say anything

HOT SINGLES DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE IN YOUR AREA!!!!!!!!! CLICK NOW!!!

my girl wronged by the narrative, my girl haunting her own story, my girl dead in the first act, my girl the blank in between the lines, my girl the phantom of the past the apparition of the future

ghostlight gravekeep ghoulboss

instead of a brain there is a mini haunted house in my head

mine is this one

i'm like if a girl was a ghost. you wouldn't get it. i can walk through walls and i died the other day

haunted houses in concept. bodies as haunted houses. haunted houses as bodies. family and love and or lack thereof as haunted houses. dollhouses as haunted houses. unsaid words as haunted houses. haunted houses as haunted houses. and, of course, most importantly, carnival attractions.

i live in the most haunted house in the northern hemisphere because i keep buying cursed dolls and cracking them open like pistachios to release the ghosts inside em. see i’ve got this business idea and it’s to unethically harvest their ectoplasm and sell it in little jars like honey. unfortunately i’ve hit a snag, namely that ectoplasm tastes like shit and also if you ingest it you permanently lose the capacity to feel joy. so now i’ve got a bunch of unsatisfied customers who are literally impossible to please banging on my door at all hours. it doesn’t really matter though because the ghosts are already constantly slamming all my doors and cabinets so it’s just a wall of sound in here at all times anyway. i’m pretty sure i’ve got tinnitus now but on the upside i’ve got this new business idea where i repair old dolls with kintsugi and sell them at a ridiculous markup to etsy women in cuffed corduroy pants.

legitimately so scary that i just made a doctors appointment for 2025. you mean the far distant sci fi future 2025? you mean the pacific rim 2025? you mean i have to go to the doctor while giant robots are fighting the fucking kaiju? fuck all the way offfffffff